How many of you have been seeing the same therapist for many years? If you have been, is it because they are helping you make a lot of progress? Or is it because you are comfortable with them?
Have you stopped to think about this recently? Honestly, I have been in and out of therapy for most of my life. However, after my daughter was born in 2011 I fell into a deep postpartum depression. Leading up to and during my pregnancy, I was not in therapy. I was taking a low dose anti-depressant and was feeling pretty stable. But when my baby was about 6 weeks old, our pediatrician (God bless him) saw something in my eyes – or perhaps a lack of something. I was barely surviving and didn’t even realize it until he asked me if I was OK. He referred me to a wonderful woman in mental health. She was so kind, gentle and wonderful to me at a time when I was very fragile. She was always so welcoming and made me feel very comfortable. We worked together for about 4 years. She spent a lot of time listening and life flew by… but I struggled and struggled. There were times when I felt a little better, but most of the time I was suffering deeply. I was frustrated with not getting better. I felt very hopeless and felt like I was “un-fixable.” For a long time I really believed that I needed to find the right pill. I believed (and still do) that chemical imbalances were the important key to improving mental health. I expressed these concerns to my psychiatrist at one of my med check visits. He was not very happy with me and my logic. He told me that I couldn’t rely on medication to get well, but rather that I had to do the work to get to a better place. Medication was to be a support, not a crutch nor a cure. I believe this now, but didn’t have the strength to hear the hard truth back then. He kept insisting that I see this new therapist at his office. I turned him down for several months and felt a bit of anger toward him for quite a while because I felt like he was being unfair and not wanting to help me. Finally, last September, after avoiding it for months, I agreed to work with his recommended therapist for a few months just to get a different perspective. I think deep down I just wanted to prove him wrong. I told my long term therapist that I’d be back in a few months… I saw Holly for the first time right after Labor Day 2016. The first time I met her, I was terribly overwhelmed. She was VERY high energy and VERY cheerful. She sat way to close to me (I’m kindof neurotic about my personal space) and, as I’ve shared with her, I wasn’t sure if she was authentic. I was sure I’d be back with my previous therapist before year’s end. But, I committed to seeing her for atleast 3 months, so I made a few more appointments and went back again… and again… and again. Fast forward 10 months and she has transformed my life. I recently gave her a thank you card and told her she was a “unicorn therapist.” I feel it is my privilege to be one of her patients. she is unlike anyone I have ever met. She has said some of the most profound things to me in the last several months, then anyone ever has in the 30+ years prior. She pushes me out of my comfort zone. She makes me want to be better… for me, for my family, and for her. She shapes things and ideas into a new light for me. The passion she has for her work and for life, are infectious and amazing. At this point, I am still having more bad days than good ones… BUT I can honestly say that for the first time in nearly 6 years, I feel motivated and have an understanding of how much power I have over my thoughts and emotions. I feel HOPE! I wanted to share this story to give you something to contemplate if you’ve been struggling for an extended period of time. Even if you really like your therapist, ask yourself – am I just really comfortable? Are they really pushing me to be better and get well anymore? If not, then IT’S OK to switch it up. Don’t feel like you owe them an explanation or that, if you’ve been with them for a long time, that you have some kind of loyalty to them that is required. If you feel stuck, then put yourself first and shop around for someone new. A new opinion may make all the difference. Be brave. Take the leap. Find YOUR unicorn. XO, Katie
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AuthorMy name is Katie and I am just a woman struggling in the deep throes of depression and anxiety hoping to go on (and document) a journey to find PEACE and share it with anyone who may feel alone in a similar journey. Archives
November 2017
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