I haven’t been able to write in a little over a week. I tried a few times, but had a hard time getting much more than a few sentences down. I’ve been struggling a lot lately. About a week ago, I hit a mental and physical wall. I crashed. I’ve been so tired, irritable and achy all over. It’s amazing how much your mental wellness corresponds with your physical body… I needed a break, but couldn’t quite get myself to take one. I pushed myself too hard, I think. I did too much and I let the self-care lapse.
Several weeks ago, I wrote a post entitled “Self-care Part I – Katie’s Corner.” The gist of that post was about how helpful I found it, as part of my process to have better self-care, to have a place to go in my house where I could be alone and decompress. I was using it for urgent “mommy needs a timeout NOW” moments and throughout the week as a place of peace. I was feeling over all pretty good and I think I let myself ease up too much on the healthier routine I had established. I am paying the price for this now. I struggled this past week… feeling down, feeling sad, feeling anxious… feeling very overwhelmed. It still amazes me how fast I can fall back down in the hole. Sometimes I feel like each time I fall, the hole gets deeper and darker. And anytime I work my way back to the top, someone with a big boot kicks me back down. I need a reset now. I need to slow down, catch my breath, and slow my mind. My husband gave me some advice a few months ago that I think I need to go back to. He called it “back to basics.” When it first came up, I was deeply depressed, having tons of panic attacks, and often suicidal. He talked very calmly to me and said that all I needed to focus on was making sure I was fed, rested, and clean. The basics. So simple, right? Wrong… It’s hard. I think maybe it’s something we, as women, struggle with most. Putting our needs above our family’s. Add on depression that makes it hard to even get out of bed, much less take a shower, or make a healthy meal. But, I like the idea of it. It gives me a place to start… something to focus my energy on. I often need a place to start. Maybe you do too? XO, Katie
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AuthorMy name is Katie and I am just a woman struggling in the deep throes of depression and anxiety hoping to go on (and document) a journey to find PEACE and share it with anyone who may feel alone in a similar journey. Archives
November 2017
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